It’s been a long while since I last posted here. I missed the entire Are You Happy? run, for one. I guess I was trying to get immediately back into everything but it was too hard when it comes to Arashi, because it’s something I shared with my sister, and because my sister died on their concert date, which made me think of her death every time I listen to them, and made me think of missing their concert every time I think of her, and it was just bad all around. So I decided to step away from Arashi for a bit. This was helped a lot by the fact that I missed Japonism entirely – the new rules and facial recognition for the arena tour meant that it was out of the question. And the title of their then-next album (Are you happy?) just felt a bit mean, I guess, considering that I was (and will always be) grieving.
I stopped listening to their songs for the most part. I watched maybe two or three episodes of Vs. Arashi throughout the entire last year, and not much else. I don’t remember if I watched Kouhaku, and I don’t think I watched all the Music Stations or NTV Best Artist or other TV performances they did. I still loved them, but I couldn’t bring myself to watch them.
The change was gradual. I balloted for Untitled (I didn’t for Are you happy), and didn’t get it, of course. Doubt I’d ever get a ticket under the same ID again – has this even happened before? Those I know who won the ballot more than once all had multiple memberships. I watched episodes of their shows every now and then. I started to download my playlist back into my iTunes. And two weeks after the Untitled album came out, I listened to it. And… it was like discovering them all over again. No – maybe more of a reunion, like Sho said in the Are you happy making. (Plus, the title of the Sho/Jun duet made me wanna come back!) I felt like I’m finally able to return to this place, and I’m so glad, because Arashi and their fandom is one of the very few things that can make me feel happier in mere seconds.
Last night, Salwa and I watched the Are you happy? making together and I have so many fanfic ideas in my head right now.
嵐TV 